That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
