I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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