This is not my ceiling
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
