he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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