that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
