And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
