is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize