the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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