Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
