Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
