he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
