No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
