I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
