so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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