They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
