I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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