Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
