bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
