why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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