dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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