Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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