I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
