im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize