he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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