even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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