I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
