Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sarcasm needs its own font
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
