so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
