I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
