dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
