I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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