woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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