he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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