i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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