Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
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Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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