Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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