when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
