Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
