Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
