You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
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no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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