Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
