oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
