And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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