MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
