they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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