I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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