I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
