The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
