my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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