Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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