I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize