that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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