Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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