No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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