So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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