All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
