She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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