I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
