there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
