And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
