I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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