She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
