So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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